A fan letter to seafood

Dear shrimp,

Thank you for being born. And your buddy the oyster. And your hard to peel cousin the crawfish. I love you all. I loved you for an entire week and now I feel the symptoms of withdrawal coming on. I visited you in what may be your finest living quarters, New Orleans. I’ve inhaled you in many of your other residences through the years but New Orleans has to be your best address. Or at least where I enjoyed you most.

I want you to know you did not die without a good fight. I suffered for you, but in the end I won. You see, I am rather accident prone. I frequently exhibit cuts and scrapes on my hands from sewing. The Cajun spices you were cooked in got in there. EACH. AND. EVERY. TIME. I. ATE. YOU. Tears streaming down my face, I enjoyed you.

I first partook in the great war of my fingers vs shellfish at a café at The French Market. The waitress sat with me and gleefully showed me how a local peels crawfish and sucks the spiced boil out of you. I should mention my non seafood eating travel mate looked on in horror during the display, while I could do nothing but clap my hands like a toddler at the sight of my first birthday cake. Then I sucked down a pound of you. I was told by the saxophone player nearby that this is a brief seasonal delicacy available for only a matter of weeks a year. Imagine my timing, I was there for it! Shellfish, you probably aren’t as excited about the scheduling coincidence as I. Your loss. Pounds of you. In my belly.

Then, I discovered happy hour at John Besh’s Luke. I’m not much for the magic liquid, I prefer to eat my calories. People in New Orleans seem to take their happy hour very seriously. 7 days a week. From 3-6. I agree with them once I learned they serve $.25 oysters at Luke. Luke and I became frequent lovers. They had the largest and best tasting oysters I have ever seen. I enjoyed their blend of horseradish for the oysters, though they were so good they didn’t need any help. I can’t walk away from an opportunity to catch my sinus on fire, and took in that challenge.

I also partook in an entree of spectacular called Shrimp Farci. Crabmeat stuffed shrimp, fried with a blood orange hollandaise sauce for it to go diving in. The angioplasty I will need was worth it for the sauce. Which I dipped veggies (what was that green looking cauliflower?) and fries in. When I ran out of those I got a straw out and drank it. (not really, dining buddy would have stabbed me with fork)

While out strolling I passed by Acme Oyster House, without a line. Every other time I went by had a line. So I wandered in and threw down some chargrilled oysters. They were very, very tasty. Would I wait hours in line to get them when tons of other seafood places had smaller lines, nah. I would wait hours in line to get any of these items where I live, but not in New Orleans.

The highlight of my food jaunt was discovering Barbecue Shrimp. The New Orleans way, jumbo head-on Shrimp sautéed in Cajun seasoned butter. I went to Deanies Seafood with the intent of having a crawfish boil and some crabs. When I saw the guy next to me get the BBQ shrimp I knew I needed it. I picked an unfortunate day to wear a bell sleeved blouse and my hair loose. This is why rubber bands and stain removal were invented. If I could eat this every day without having a heart attack, I would. The dish is served with a loaf of bread to dunk in the leftover sauce. Like Luke, I went to Deanies more than once. I had a fascinating conversation with a bartender there. He sympathized with my totally-disgusted-with-my-seafood-eating friend and stated he doesn’t eat seafood either. I wonder, that must be like a PETA member working in a slaughterhouse. He said the tips made the working environment worthwhile since most people put the Cajun fire out with beer. I put the fire out with more seafood. Not effective but so delicious.

I had many other good meals, Po Boys at a couple places and breakfast at Mother’s. The debris at Mother’s was great but the ham honestly wasn’t the best I ever had, it was an experience to be had. This trip it was the seafood and the people that blew me away. I had amazing conversations with locals about their history and the history of their proud home. I brought back a large bag of spices to attempt my own crawfish boil and bbq shrimp. If not, I’ll be planning another trip to New Orleans.

Love,

Sarah Seafood Slurper

Ps.If I ever find a way to get the gigantic masks from Le Garage on Decatur back to my home, I’ll clear the place out. If you wonder what I am talking about, just go visit. Yes, those are for sale. I stood like an idiot with 1 in my arms trying to figure out how to get it home. And a suit of armor. In case the seafood fight back. I need to have it.

Power of online social networking to keep community safe

Throwing sheep and retweeting gossip are examples of uses of social networking. Spreading awareness is another. A recent challenge by DARPA proved just that http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2009-10/darpa-celebrates-internet-anniversary-bizarre-balloon-challenge

A group of students at MIT demonstrated that utilizing social networking in even a short period of time they could win the challenge. They employed the idea of prize sharing to do it. Contributing a portion of the $40,000 to anyone with valid information. They spread word they were doing it through twitter, facebook, myspace and other social networking sites. Friends told others on their networks and within hours MIT had won.

If the DARPA balloons were instead a missing child and the prize- community safety, wouldn’t it be great? Does the prize have to be monetary to encourage action by others?
Amber alerts are already a useful example of how this method is working. Now with E-STOP (The Electronic Security and Targeting of Online Predators Act ) laws passing in a number of states we can use social networking tools to prevent criminals from committing crimes. People are encouraged to report on registered sex offenders who have an online presence. (details in previous blog post)

Is there anyone on your facebook/twitter that seems too good to be true?

Maybe their posts frequently don’t seem truthful or exaggerate things that are ridiculous?

They have listed employment you can't connect them to?

Are they name dropping individuals you could verify these details with?
Ask around. Maybe there is an explanation.

Many questionable people are using the internet to build new lives more in line with their fantasies and less in line with who they really are, often fleeing probation restrictions and other legal obligations.

These impostors are doing this to invade your community. You could be part of what is enabling them to fit in, using their association with you to make others feel comfortable around them when they normally wouldn’t belong. It’s your good character, network of friends and public information that is making it possible.

Do friends who also have this person listed really know them, followed them based on “people you may know” feature or because they were contacted by this individual?

Maybe others have the same doubts you do but were apprehensive to say anything?

Does anyone really know this person dating back farther than a short period of time or on a limited basis?

Do they seem to latch onto the idea of utilizing your contacts or paying special attention to you that makes you uncomfortable?

Are they attributing a greater connection to you than is comfortable?

Even if you can’t put a specific reason to why this person’s interactions bother you, that you feel unease at all is telling. Follow your instincts.
Check up on what you know about them, google is very useful. Your own network of friends in chat rooms, blog communities and social networking is the most useful.

Here are just a few examples of people that would have been caught sooner had others around them asked a few more questions

http://www.latimes.com/travel/la-tr-travel-mystery26-2009nov26,0,6335281.story

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/09/man-who-claims-to-cure-cancer-and-aids-is-charged-with-pretending-to-be-a-medical-doctor.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/20/nyregion/urged-by-distraught-victims-judge-sends-fake-heir-to-prison.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/506629/my_experience_with_a_pathological_liar.html?cat=41

http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/29/local/me-kidnapped29

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-miss-hi-id-theft,0,3817347.story

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11770944/ns/dateline_nbc/


How well do you really know the people you gave access to your friends, family and co-workers?
Would you feel comfortable leaving them in your home unobserved? With your children, your gun collection, your valuables?
They can see all your hobbies and private family moments, but you may only be seeing a fictitious view they want you to see. Generally, that is the view of a wealthy, successful, family oriented person.

Do you personally know anyone who has seen their home? Not an “online” friend, someone you know beyond the cover of a computer screen or phone.
If you answered “no” there may be a reason why.
If it’s “yes”, were expectations in line with what they actually saw; homes, wealth, cars, family?

People easily forget most online interactions enable you to know only what someone wants you to. That’s what is so appealing. Thanks to the internet the line between “stranger” and “friend “ is blurred.

Someone tells you about previous experiences like employment or hobbies because they want you to know it. How often do people really check these statements? Generally, not until after a problem alerts them. Sometimes, not even then because they fear being wrong. Everyone is waiting for someone else to come forward.

Some online interactions could have less than decent intentions. That these “friends” utilize you for job and personal references with the goal of burying their previous lives under their new identity.

You can protect yourself from these types of people by asking yourself how well you really know them.

Can you vouch for their history enough that you can confirm without hesitation they were never incarcerated? Would it matter to you if you were wrong? What if it were a violent crime?

Look through who they consider “good friends.” How far back do these references know them? Do you know anyone who went to school with them? Worked in a job with them? Dated someone in their family?

Most people are surrounded by an assortment of friends from all stages in their life; childhood, career, school, neighbors, family, religion, etc. If a large portion of their life isn’t represented there is a reason why. Without knowing these details you are relying on someone’s self report which might not be anywhere near who they really are.

Do you see this person only once a year at an convention or workshop? Do you know anyone who has daily, personal contact with them and can confirm they are still employed where they say?

Do they claim to be an expert in an area you suspect they aren’t?
In interactions with them do you find yourself thinking “how could they not know that?”
Could they be making assertions of being an expert to get closer to a particular person, field of work, weapons or property?

These questions are all particularly important if you are considering marrying or raising children with someone. Not just for online interactions.

If you can’t account for every milestone period in their life (birth, upbringing, extended education/military, career, residence, family, origin of finances) then you really can’t say you know them. This is more than fearing someone will uncover you were a dork in a high school, slept with the football team in college and got fired for oversleeping in your 20’s. People don’t abandon entire periods of their life for average, embarrassing indiscretions.

If a portion of their history is absent it’s because they don’t want you to know. Why?
Are they fleeing from something?
Lacking in certifications or education for a job?
Avoiding court ordered payments like child support?

It’s important to look at how people have treated those around them, dealt with various situations through their entire lives to get a picture of who they really are. Otherwise it is a censored version that makes them desirable.

Many pathological liars and con artists build a life of fantasy using their real names or variations of their real names. Part of the excitement may be that they could get identified by someone from their past at any time or they feel they are so powerful it can't happen.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend conveys that everyone before you was psycho, run like hell. There is either a serious flaw in how they perceive others, who they attract or both. Most people have had A bad breakup, ALL bad breakups is telling. Healthy people are capable of having long standing, healthy relationships in work, friends, family and love interests. Not all interactions will be this way, but the majority should.

Reasonable people understand that everyone has made mistakes; infidelity, financial problems, drug problems, and brushes with criminal misconduct. Responsible, safe individuals learn from these experiences. Manipulative people learn how to keep doing them undiscovered rather than accepting situations where they have to reveal them and accept responsibility.

The people in the heart of these stories had to build complex lies to cover untruthful statements, eventually being deceitful about even insignificant details to cover their story. The best place to hide is in plain view. By forming a whole network of people they can blend in with, these con artists are using you to hide behind. Prevent it.

If you have encountered someone you are concerned about I recommend;
Contact police
Check sex offender registries http://www.familywatchdog.us/
Google their name
Look specifically for criminal cases or appeals by googling the following formats;
(with the quotes) “state v name” example “NY v Smith”
“state v. name”
“state vs name”
“state vs. name”
try both the state abbreviated and spelled out
try "name, APPELLANT" would look like " Smith, appellant"
http://www.findacase.com can often pick up appeals if not the actual case

Online networking sites start purging sex offenders

I recently posted this link to my twitter http://www.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200991201013 and it garnered a lot of questions.
First, I would like to mention NY is not the first state to pass an "E-stop" law. The first I recall was Illinois, there will be others if there has not been already. http://www.switched.com/2009/08/14/social-networking-sites-off-limits-to-illinois-sex-offenders/

What is an E-stop law?

“We created e-STOP to help put an end to sexual predators using the Internet as a tool to prey on the innocent,” Cuomo said in a statement. “Facebook and MySpace are successfully using e-STOP to help make the Internet safer, and it’s time for all social networking sites to do their part to keep others from being senselessly victimized.”

E-STOP requires convicted sex offenders to register all their e-mail addresses, screen names and other Internet identifiers with the state."

This is a confusing law. Do I think it will keep sex offenders off the internet? Nope, not really. They broke they law when they chose to act in a predatory way and didn't care. Do I think it is a really useful tool? Yes.

Here's why.

My understanding from speaking casually with both attorneys and law enforcement is that this is a tool to prosecute more than prevent. Most importantly it will require these offenders to officially register their whereabouts online (email, websites, instant messengers, etc.) The registered email addresses could be monitored in some way. When they (offenders) create anonymous, unregistered accounts and get caught using those- it can lead to an E felony for the first violation.

How will they be caught? Worse case scenario in the event a new victim goes to law enforcement. More likely, people like you will turn them in.

In recent news there have been stories about felons casually using networking sites that lead to their capture http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1f2_1255522762
Similarly, I expect others to be caught.

With tools like google few are completely safe from their past. Before these tools if someone didn't bump into those familiar with their conviction, they were comfortable to live anonymously and re-offend. Jobs and universities have been using social networking for years to "screen" the lives of their applicants. All those drunk, risque pics are coming back to haunt a lot of co-eds entering the business world.

The moment these offenders begin participating in social networking they are making themselves available for public scrutiny. They can choose not to do so. Involvement in networking sites is a privilege not a right. A truly rehabilitated individual should have no problem with registering their email address. People choose to give up their rights when they break the law. Want to retain the right to vote, own a gun, and freely use social networking without an appeals process...behave.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29289048/
How do I report someone in violation?
Call 9-1-1
your local/state police
or
http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=798#/help/contact.php?show_form=sex_offender
http://www.parentsformeganslaw.org/sortReport/sortReport.jsp
http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=169

addendum:
these are some states that are prosecuting
http://www.citizen-times.com/article/20100121/NEWS01/301210023 North Carolina
http://www.beaumontenterprise.com/news/local/Sex_offender_sends_Twitter_invite_to_probation_officer_jailed.html Texas

A quick update about Wired Magazine's December issue

Hello to all who saw me in Wired Magazine’s December cover story. Don’t know what I am talking about? Check it out here http://www.wired.com/vanish/category/wired-issue-1712/

I wanted to acknowledge that I am the same menacingpickle from the story. Don't let the change in professions confuse you. It's me. I was always a costume designer/clothing maker but my secret double life has now been outed, more like a bunch of jaunts into a bizarre profession. It wasn't really a secret...I just didn't advertise it because it was too hard to explain through the years. Stay tuned for more...

Aw, Nuts!

This public service announcement brought to you by a food that is high in protein and an all around good snack, possibly even a meal depending on how veracious your appetite. Weight Watchers recommends them as do many other food plans. And yes, if you are a vegetarian it is completely OK!

Tips on perusing nuts

• Per my unofficial Twitter survey (on twitter I am @menacingpickle) it seems Salt & Pepper Nuts are the way to go.

• I was told that Macadamias are a "party in your mouth" too. The user experience was submitted by someone who was admittedly new to nuts. Having just introduced them into her diet about two weeks ago, she may have that new-nut feeling.

• As long as you go with Salt & Pepper nuts in nice packaging they should be flavorful.

• The salt helps offset the texture of the nut nicely.

• A good Salt & Pepper nut has a ripe flavor and is attractive to look at.
  

• Look for mature packaging as a sign of a well cared for Nut.
• Try and stay away from dancing cartoon characters in the presentation if what you want is sophistication.
  

• If it is well packaged it is more than likely not bruised or damaged in some way.

• You can find nicely packaged nuts at many high end establishments.

• I would stay away from nuts at gas stations and convenience stores. You never know how long they may have been sitting around, they could have a strange flavor and possibly even an odor to them.

• Also keep in mind that nuts can be an acquired taste. They can drastically change texture the more you work with them, so if you find you don't like them at first you can try them a number of ways.

• Try handling your nuts to achieve different textures from course to smooth. The more you handle them the smoother the texture.

• You can also try mixing your nuts. Alternate between exotic ones and more run of the mill varieties.
  

• Try acquiring nuts from different locations for a more extensive variety. Ethnic establishments are a great way to experiment with new nuts of varying types.

Why I sound like a frog and other useful facts

Lately I have been plagued with questions about my voice. Possibly, I am hitting another stage of puberty in my 30's. More likely it is because I managed an upper and lower respiratory infection that seems to have rendered me Jessica Rabbitish. And so begins the reminder of why I hate health care.

Menacing Pickle now exists with two main purposes. One, to bring awesome, safe clothing to kids and parents. And two, to pay for my medical costs. The second, I am not currently achieving. I don't know that Trump could achieve it.

I am medicare-D eligible which means I can get my medications "paid for" through the government medicare program. I say "paid for" loosely because they don't pay for them. No, really. If you are taking a low cost antibiotic I think it is covered, but anything expensive and you can expect a big, fat rejection. Lupus medications are for the most part borrowed from treatments for other diseases because other than Dr. House there is no Lupus awareness. And because the medications are not dedicated to treating Lupus, Medicrap doesn't have to pay for them. It's in the fine print, trust me.

So I pay about $700 a month for the privilege of being a part of private insurance (Blue Cross Blue Shield of Greater Hell) so that I don't pay out of pocket for these drugs. It enables me to be part of a standard tiered drug plan that I like to call; tier 1 pocket change, tier 2 a fine meal, tier 3 get the hell out, and tier 4 the price of human trafficing. Yeah, I have done the math...so that means $700 is less than I would be paying out of pocket. So I do it.

Do they happily take my money and insure me? Don't be silly. Because I am eligible for Medicrap D I am being told they don't have to cover me. Because our fine government health care will pick it up, I am their problem. Even though they won't. So I can't get covered under Medicrap and I can't get covered under private insurance because Medicrap exists. Yay.

Even better, every time I fart at a medical professionals I get the privilege of paying between $20-$45 copay even though BCBS isn't paying a dime. Why? because as long as you have private insurance regardless of what they pay out you are legally responsible for the co-pay. Even if the co-pay is more than they paid the doctor, blood lab, nurse, or padded room rental I am going to need. And furthermore all involved who are collecting my money are not paying my doctor's, so don't think they are getting rich. They aren't. They get my co-pay and that's about it at this point. Only the health insurance is collecting the big bucks.

Where does this leave me? Aside from the tapeworm I am probably festering from eating so much boxed macaroni and cheese to get by, there's more. I like to make sure I have the ebola virus before I go to the doctor. I know, wouldn't it be easier to get the sniffles and have it checked out? No, it really isn't. So that I can save my co-pays which can equal hundreds of dollars a month when you have to see a bunch of specialists for management of a multi system disease I like to make REALLY sure I have a doctor worthy plague before I go see someone. I have now had the pleasure of hearing comments from them like "you waited 'til blood shot out your WHAT before you came in today?" and "you are aware the wheezing sound is oxygen unsuccessfully reaching your body?" I sometimes when I ask them if they could wave the measly $20 so I will feel encouraged to come to followup appointments for my various plagues, they do it. Because generally, medical professionals don't like to see people suffer more than they like to earn money. Even though no one has the right to ask that your services be given for free.

And enters patient assistance medication programs. Oh, you know them if you have ever seen television. After prescription ads talk about the side effects of "Happy Barf Pill" it quickly says "if you have trouble paying for your medications please contact Happybarfpill for help."
I called them. I figured if nothing else they could help name my tapeworm (he responds to Bill). Who is eligible for patient assistance? Only people who have no kind of insurance. So I tell them all about how none of the insurances want to cover me and they tell me to "cancel all my insurance plans so that I am eligible for patient assistance." In doing the math, I could probably take my $700+ monthly to a casino and come out ahead rather than pay for insurance. So I consider it. And I consult Bill who is now requesting ketchup on his Mac and Cheese. And then they tell me "if you are eligible for Medicare D you can't qualify for patient assistance." So who qualifies? I don't know. It's not me. It's not a lot of people I know. It's probably not you either if you suffer from a chronic disease because I could wallpaper my neighborhood in similar stories.

Additionally, I am kidding about the tapeworm but not the other horrors contained in this post.

A community mourns for a child that brought us awareness

I joined twitter as a resource to meet other similar kinds of small business. It brought me a lot more than I had imagined. On Twitter I found a kinship for business, personal and health woes. The tweeple (people who use twitter) who stand out to me most are the ones that bring me laughter amidst that support. I eagerly anticipate their next 140 characters more than my morning coffee.

Heather Spohr AKA Mamaspohr always provided a levity that I would look forward to. She is a celebrity among women on twitter for her honest account of her life. She brought us into her world of pregnancy, raising a premature child, marriage and insurance. She brought her lovely daughter Maddie into all of our homes. For a woman I had never met it is amazing she worked into many of our conversations as if she were our Phoebe or Rachel.

Heather and her husband Mike brought us, her tweeple the trials and tribulations of her daughter Maddie’s 11 week premature birth. As a hopeful future parent I read her posts with anticipation and wondered “what if this were to happen to me?” She brought candid awareness to raising a premature child that few do. Through her constant humor I got to look through a peephole into her life. And I enjoyed every minute of it. She educated me on The March of Dimes, parenting, and bringing laughter into my everyday life. I took many mental notes I plan to resurrect when I become a parent one day.

Among thousands of others on twitter I looked on in horror as “our” child Maddie was brought to the hospital with breathing difficulties. Heather had become the friend that we longed for. That friend that will lend you a cup of whiskey and a shoulder to drench when all other girlfriends turn away. Her astute observations on life’s punches in the face constantly had me nodding my head in agreement and admiration “yes, I too suck at dieting, and love practical jokes too!”

How can the child of this cool mom we all love be sick again.

I have to admit, my spirits were lifted when I read her distinctive humor as she purveyed the grotesque offerings of the hospital cafeteria. I pondered her sanity as she looked over hospital sushi, but was relieved our Mamspohr was among us.

I breathed a sigh of relief and thought “she must be improving.” And twitter life moved on to chatter of Jill and Countess Luanne, Etsy sales and Easter baskets.

By midnight on April 7, 2009 word of The Spohr’s devastation had blown through twitter. Little Maddie had passed away. An outcome I never considered. Less than 24 hours since her passing it is still unimaginable to me how something so tragic could strike this family. Thousands on Twitter have chosen to dedicate their tweets and blogs to the awareness of Maddie Spohr and fundraising for March of Dimes. I too would like to point all my readers to her story and fundraising efforts. Please dedicate your blogs and tweets to raising awareness and funds in memory of this wonderful child and help make her the last child a parent has to lose.


Maddie’s March of Dimes fund raising link
http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?w=131032674&u=marchformaddie&bt=2

MamaSpohr on Twitter

http://twitter.com/mamaspohr

The Spohr's Site
http://www.remembermaddie.com/
http://www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com/


An incredibly moving blog post for Maddie by Jessica of Its Jessicas Life
http://www.itsjessicaslife.com/2009/04/crying-for-baby-i-didnt-even-know.html